2002: They met at a friend’s wedding.
They hit it off right from the start. They dated a year, moved in together, and they, too, got married. Bought a house. Had a few kids. Everyone says they are the perfect couple/family.
Mike the successful businessman, super dad, little league coach. Jayda the woman who could handle anything (raising kids, managing the home, fund-raising committees).
Fast forward March 2018.
Mike and Jayda clash inside their home, and no one sees the struggles. Here’s a typical evening in their lives today:
Mike smokes weed every night to “wind down” from a long day at the office. He’s been under some pressure to get a lot done for the company.
He’s too tired to talk or play with the kids (now 8, 10, 12 years old). He escapes to his personal space in the den to zone out and watch some TV before passing out on the couch. He sleeps through dinner.
Mike briefly wakes up, wanders into the kitchen for a beer and a snack, heads upstairs for a shower, and one of his wife’s anti-anxiety pills.
Jayda meanwhile is on her second bottle of wine for the evening. She started the first glass at 4 pm when she started dinner and the kids were vying for her attention. The wine is her only friend these days. She’s been relying on it to ease her stress of parenting, working, and managing everything on her own.
Mike is seldom available. They don’t talk to each other anymore. They haven’t made love in months. Jayda drinks her way through dinner, sends the kids off to bed (or wherever, as long as they are in another room away from her). She finishes what is now that 2nd bottle of wine. Contemplates starting a third and passes out instead on the couch.
Have they reached a turning point?
Mike and Jayda have been living like this for quite some time now. They both know something must change. Jayda looks into couples therapy. They have to start somewhere, don’t they? Mike agrees to go with Jayda to see “someone.”
So, Mike and Jayda begin the journey of renewing their relationship. First, by getting “right” with themselves. Then by working together to relearn to communicate, trust, rely on each other – be the “couple” they once were.
It wasn’t easy, but they learned to ask for what they need, to set boundaries with the kids, take time for themselves, and time for each other. They bring balance back into their marriage.
They realize they have grown apart, making different substances their new friend and lover. They both want to grow back together as healthy, sober adults, partners and parents.
Today. September 2020.
Mike and Jayda are a couple again, a family again. They still have struggles, yet have found they can go to one another for help. Together, nothing is unmanageable.
Mike gave up weed and beer; Jayda is off anti-anxiety meds and wine free.
The kids are happy and adjusting well to the new family dynamics. What a relief to see their parents laughing together again. And the family dinners rock! Especially when mom and dad have date night! The kids get pizza and junk food galore! And there’s hugs and love in abundance again.
Make the decision…
…to reach out to me by phone at (602) 903-4977 or by completing the contact form below.